Monday, April 23, 2007

Today Blows

It's been two years since I started here and although I finally have made my lab my home, I still can't get comfortable with teaching. I am quick to second guess myself, even in front of my students, when I don't really have to. I haven't quite mastered the skill to stop degrading myself in front of others. I am quick to call myself stupid and to give up on my own knowledge. Why?

No clue. But I wish it could change.

Today I gave a quiz. Stayed until 2am this morning to make it great. Then, after class, some kids asked me the answers to one of the questions and they thought that I hadn't provided the right information. I was quick to agree with them and apologized over and over. And I really felt stupid and ashamed for making such a dumb mistake. I seriously was on the verge of tears and was ready to quit.

When I came back to lab, I realized that I hadn't made a mistake in what I presented, but that it would have helped them out if I had provided just a little more information on the figure. But overall the test made sense.

How can I stop blaming myself for everything? Does it ever go away? Do you ever become confident in yourself?


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