On how Animals Can Learn

" ...so about 7 weeks ago I was on a boat in the middle of this river in Borneo. And this guy, in the back kitchen, had whipped up some fried bananas and pineapple for me and coffee, I can drink coffee no matter how hot it is, and I was sitting at the end of this boat staring at this orangutang named Bessie, who was sitting at the end of this pier. Bessie was a large orangutang who had apparently had many kids, but she obviously had gotten rid of them by now and had lost a lot of weight so she had these gigantic breast which were now hanging way down, so she was cute in ways and very ugly in others. So I was sitting at the end of this boat and she was sitting on the pier staring at me, and I knew what she wanted, she wanted some of the fried bananas. I wanted to give her some but at the same time I was scared because once an orangutang gets a hold of your finger the only way you are going to get out of their grip is by losing a digit. So, I had finally finished eating and the guy was going to get the rope that was tied to this tire in order for us to get the boat started when Bessie decided that she didn't want us to leave. So with one hand she got a hold of the tire, and the boat is not going to move with her holding on to this, and soon after her hand started to move towards me. I thought, shit I am done for. Now what was funny was that the guy from the kitchen, apparently this had happened before so he knew how to fix the problem, had gone to the kitchen and gotten a pot full of hot water. All he had to do was move the kettle towards Bessie's face and she knew she didn't want none of that".