But, I just got used to this step!

After finaly feeling like I don't have to blend in with the walls as I walk down the hall, I find that it is soon time to move on to the next step. But, I barely just got used to this one. We talked about me finishing in Spring of 2009. "Isn't that next spring!", I almost yelled. "Hmmm, yes, I guess it is", he responded. Although I am very excited about the prospect of "moving on", I am deathly terrified of it. "Ah, aren't we fogetting the fact that I am still a complete idiot?" I think in my head. That's not going to be fixed in a year! Plus, I have 3 chapters to fill, an exam to take and a defense. Plus, who the hell is going to hire me?

I need to read.
I need to write.
I need to experiment.
I need to research.
I need to build.
I need to present.
I need to work.
I need to get money.
I need to remember.

But all I want to do is think of other things.

A Year After

Well, last year was definately a rollercoaster. After my first year I didn't think it could get crazier, but I proved my second year that it could be much worse...much much worse. I had started this blog to remind myself of what grad school was like for me (if I ever get out) and to maybe help others not feel alone while they are going through this crazy stage in life. Most of the stuff I feel I can honestly say is shared by a lot of people also in grad school. I feel kinda sad that I haven't been able to keep in touch with this blog. However I will try to make it better.

As I was saying....my second year was CRAZY! I took on too much and really drove myself insane. I was taking Med School Physiology; finished writing my masters thesis and defended it and finally graduated with it; I was teaching; I finished my first dissertation project; I analyzed the data and wrote a pretty good rough draft; I applied to 3 fellowships; took an extra job teaching Anatomy at a different institution; volunteered; went to Australia, Guatemala, Miami, New York San Francisco and Washington DC; and almost ruined my marriage. I advise that you really not take grad school this seriously.

I am sad to say that I didn't pass my Med School Physiology class....and, I retook it this year (I am sure I did fine on it). I am happy to say that I got awarded a Fellowship in 2007-2008 so I didn't have to work this year, and I just received another Fellowship for next year. So, some of my craziness paid off.

My third year hasn't been as wild, simply because I decided to bring my priorities back. I really enjoy what I do, but I am not willing to risk everything else for it. I don't think I would be happy, and I don't think that it is the type of scientist I want to be. However I have learned a lot and I am willing to keep on learning.

Starting today I will use this blog to give more information about cool things I have have learned and about opportunities for others to apply to. I hope this website helps at least one person! At least so that you feel like certain feelings are shared and you're not alone.